Sparkle

A short five days after my last entry on this blog, Kelley lost her fight with cancer, and we lost her. Words cannot even express the extreme sadness that came over me and the rest of my family. Trying to come to grips with loss and grief is probably one of the hardest tasks we all need to go through in life. It is so hard to go on and not question WHY?? Why Kelley? Why now? But all the questions in my head could drive me crazy... I learned I just needed to accept it and move on.....but move on in the right direction.

Jack met Kelley and to say it was a whirlwind romance would be an understatement. I had truly never seen him so happy in his life up to that point. He told me when he met her.."She is exactly what I want" They were married a short year later. The rest they say is history.

Work, kids, house remodels, vacations and the rest soon followed...and as they say.. life got in the way...I never had the chance to spend girl time with Kelley. We never went shopping, never went for pedicures, never to the movies..Life got in the way. It was not until Kelley got sick that I was able to tell her how I felt about her..that I loved her..that I loved her for loving Jack so well.

Jack was scheduled for a business trip to Sweden. Nanny was to go stay at the house with Kelley and the kids. For some reason, I called Kelley the week before and asked if I could come sleepover with the girls...(Emma would love it!) Little did I know that this was all in the plan.

The day before Kelley died, I took her for radiation, then we went to a local furniture store so she could order a coffee table!! Then back to the hospital for chemo. The most heartfelt conversation I ever had with Kelley took place that morning. She told me so many things..most of all how she was at peace with her prognosis, and as I cried as she said it, she told me to be brave. She was so strong.

We talked a bit about heaven and she told me a story of a prayer group friend's sister who had died from breast cancer. This woman told her family that when she died she would give them a sign that she was okay. She determined that she would be something shimmery or sparkling. I asked Kelley if she could come back as something what would it be? She told me she was not sure, but not something cliche like a bird or butterfly!! Kelley looked at me and simply said "I just really love the idea of a sparkle" I replied that is such a nice thought...to be a sparkle. And that was it.. nothing else was said about it.

Kelley died on Wednesday, a day after I was sitting with her talking about coffee tables. We all knew she was terminal but you are just never ready. I was in furthur turmoil because Jack could not be there. I was there for Jack, I held her hand, I cared for her the way Jack would have done. But that was Kelley's plan, she was protecting Jack. She loved him so much she did not want him to suffer. The day following her death was terrible, I was in a fog and just emotionally and physically spent. I went home to David and my girls.

I did not sleep much that night, as I thought so much about Kelley. Maeve woke up extra early that morning as well. I was anxious to get her from her crib and as I went to pick her up, I see as plain as can be, a small fleck of glitter in the middle of her forehead. That was the sparkle. I knew that Kelley was ok and was watching over us.

And I knew then that we would all be ok too.

Mother's Day

What a better way to start the week than by celebrating ME!!! I really do love Mother's Day especially now that the girls understand and want to make my day special. We started the day early with breakfast at the diner.

David and the girls waiting on a table.

After breakfast we headed out for a drive to run some errands and went by the Great Falls. It was FREEZING and very windy so we only stayed a short time. We then ran some errands while the girls stayed with Nanny.

It was like a mini vacation for me!

Dinner was my choice and I decided on FRIED CHICKEN. It was so yummy and then we had a delicious ice cream cake. The girls were so excited to give me their gifts and cards. They made me these ceramic plates that they decorated. David had made one of these for his mom and I always say how nice it is to have something from his childhood. So he had the girls make me some. It was really sweet!

Ava's plate

Olivia's plate

Of course no Mother's Day would be complete without this lady. I am so thankful for my mom, she is truly the glue that holds us all together and she never ceases to amaze us with her strength and love.

~We love you Nanny~

10 months

Maeve is 10 months old!!


Where does the time go? So what are you up to these days?

You weigh about 17 pounds, you are a peanut!!

You wear a size 3 diaper and are in 9 month clothing.

You love to eat!! Mostly all table food now. You will try anything! Favorites include avocado, cheese, yogurt, veggie puffs, cheerios, and peaches. You are a pro at the sippy cup now too. You take 3 bottles a day and are now officially weaned.

You sleep great at night now almost 12 hours straight. You like a morning nap but afternoon naps are harder, mostly because we are always on the go with your big sisters.

You are a happy little girl and get so excited to see your sisters. You have the best giggle and are just a joy to be around.

You are just starting to get around----doing the "army" crawl and can pull yourself up and roll EVERYWHERE!!! You love your toys and your most favorite is the Barbie cell phone!!

You have added such happiness to our little family. We could not love you more!!

Because you might want to know:

100 Things About Me

1.) I have a master's degree in Nursing and graduated when the girls were almost 2 years old
2.) I'm a huge procrastinator.
3.) I love Coca Cola.
4.) I have 1 brother who I adore
5.) My mom's name is French: Vivienne Lenore..very fancy
6.) I played with barbies until 8th grade...a tad too long
7.) I love to cook and eat!
8.) I would love to learn the violin
9.) My mom is the strongest person I know
10.) I am right handed.
11.) I love to sing and I think I am really good
12.) I do not know how to play checkers
13.) My middle name is Anne
14.) I make a killer marinara sauce
15.) I like to do crafty things
16.) My favorite store is Target
17.) David and I met in a bar in 1996
18.) I knew that night that he was the marrying kind
19.) We honeymooned in Australia and it was amazing
20.) I can tell alot about a person the first time I meet them
21.) I will try anything once
22.) It is a running joke in my family that I can cry every day if prompted
23.) I love David more and more each day, even though we bicker
24.) I am a loyal friend
25.) I secretly want to be a hair dresser
26.) I am afraid of escalators.
27.) I went scuba diving on the Great Barrier reef
28.) I have never been to Niagara Falls
29.) I am a first generation American
30.) I am very independent
31.) I hate watching organized sports on TV
32.) I have never been to a professional sporting event
33.) I am not a fan of spicy food
34.) I love watching the news
35.) I love classic rock
36.) Christmas is my favorite holiday.
37.) I drink milk every day
38.) Becoming a nurse was the 2nd best decision I made, becoming a mom the best
39.) I love being a mommy to girly girls
40.) I detest bad spelling
41.) Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite
42.) My dad is still my hero
43.) My mom still lives in the house I grew up in
44.) It doesn't bother me at all to leave the dishes in the sink overnight.
45.) I think family is most important
46.) I love dogs
47.) I have temper issues
48.) I love a good cup of tea that my mom has brewed
49.) I've been to Greece
50.) I am a morning person
51.) When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was strangely calm. Then the shock set in.
52.) I get alot of headaches
53.) My first job was in borough hall
54.) I drive a mini van and I am proud of it. That thing makes my life so easy
55.) I wear diamond earrings every day
56.) I desperately want to learn to sew with a sewing machine
57.) I am very witty
58.) I am loud, David is not
59.) I think I am wiser beyond my years
60.) I have never run over a squirrel (that is so random)
61.) I would eat out alot if given the opportunity
62.) I always wanted to get married
63.) I cannot read music
64.) I love to buy new purses
65.) Growing up, we had a dog named Buddy.
66.) I always wanted to have a pet rabbit
67.) We vacationed in the Cayman Islands when I was a child
68.) I take really, really, really hot showers.
69.) I sleep on my stomach. Right now, I miss it terribly.
70.) I hate wearing socks or shoes
71.) I don"t follow trends
72.) When I was a child, I had pool parties and ice cream birthday cake
73.) I was given every opportunity to become successful growing up
74.) I cried alot at the end of my pregnancy with Ava and Olivia, I was overwhelmed and scared
75.) I always wanted a sister
76.) My brother gave me away when I got married
77.) Losing my dad never gets any easier
78.) My favorite movie is The Usual Suspects
79.) I had blonde hair as a child and I do not dye my hair as an adult
80.) David and I traveled alot before kids
81.) I have no girl names on my list for this baby, I ran out of ideas
82.) I hate food shopping
83.) If I like a book I can finish it in a day
84.) I do not forget anything
85.) I have a photographic memory...just like my Dad. Though, I hesitate to even compare mine to his...his memory was amazing. But, I sometimes scare people with what I remember.
86.) Most days, I think I'm a great mom.
87.) I like being home with the kids
88.) I love pedicures
89.) I would have a professional massage weekly if I could afford it
90.) I love yellow roses
91.) I think Julia Roberts is a terrible actress
92.) I think Rod Stewart rocks
93.) I do not like thinking of what to make for dinner
94.) I don"t get the whole Ebay thing
95.) I think personal responsibilty is what this country needs
96.) I love the color red.
97.) I only wear white cotton underwear. (TMI) :)
98.) I wear makeup every day
99.) I can imitate any accent although Scottish is my best
100.) Nothing has taught me more in life than becoming a mother

Edited to add that this list was written when I was pregnant with Maeve, thus the reason for the random pregnancy/baby name info.

Dirty Laundry

If my laundry room looked like this I would certainly spend more time in it. Of all the household chores there are to be done, laundry is my least favorite. It is neverending, isn't it? With 5 people in this house, we create MASSIVE amounts of laundry. I am my own worst eneny, because I create alot of the laundry. New towels every morning, new pj's every night and add Maeve's costume changes and we have a serious laundry problem.

My mother has advised me, (she's very good at offering ADVICE) that

a. We as a family have too many articles of clothing. This may be true but I have come to decide that my love for clothing is not going to be impacted because of my laundry loathing. I have three girls and I do not care what anyone says but boys can get away with jeans and different shirts, these girly girls require more "fluff".

b. My mother also suggests that I do some laundry DAILY. Bleh, I guess she is correct, it would alleviate the sheer volume, but the trek down to the basement to put the load in and then REMEMERING to put said load in the dryer, while doing the other 15,000 tasks I do on a daily basis is daunting. But I will try. I will. Right after I change out of these clothes.

Life

It's amazing how time passes by and the days are filled. I wanted this blog to be a spot for me to jot down life's daily musings and suddenly I turn around and weeks have pat me by. At least, I've been busy, not just slacking off..

We ended March with a trip to Disney with the Bradley clan, it was amazing. DisneyWorld truly is a magical place. The girls had a great time, even Maeve!! We enjoyed long days in the parks, swimming and just being together. Memories were made.

After we came home, I ended up having to attend a 2 day computer class for work, thankfully Nanny watched the girls, but it took me a good week to unpack and get the house running again.

We have since filled the days with preschool, playdates, errands and bike riding. The weather has been springlike and we have enjoyed the outdoors very much. The girls have started T ball and they are really good, they are the only girls on the team, but they don't mind since they have each other. Daddy is the coach and it makes them very happy.

I have some projects I want to work on in the next few weeks so I hope I am able to carve out some time to do some things and just try to enjoy each day and all the little things that go on with these little ladies!

Stay tuned

a new blog post is coming...it better be good its only 6 weeks overdue!